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Jason's Space"I am not young enough to know everything." -Oscar Wilde June 25 I'm backSo I just remembered this blog - I thought it had been shut down well over a year ago but, like I said, here it is. I guess I'll blog here and there if I find the time. I can't imagine anyone will read it. We'll see. May 08 Jason PLUS Calcium and VitaminsI went grocery shopping yesterday and saw something interesting...
I was looking for butter and came across the "Country Crock PLUS Calcium and Vitamins". At first I just sort of glazed over it, but had a thought: "What the..." Granted, I'm no health nut, but like to think that my overall well being isn't circling the drain just yet. Here's my question: Who is eating so much butter that the only way to get them nutrients, is the sneak it in as they smother it on their toast? Is anyone buying this as healthy?
Anyways, it struck me as funny. Good to know that the bones holding my gut up are now stronger :)
Jason May 01 Brad Pitt and Toilet SeatsRandom thoughts.... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (and all other celebs requesting privacy): I find it incredibly difficult to feel sorry for people who spend almost every day screaming "Look at ME!!! Right here! I mean, I'm right here on the screen....check it out!!! Better yet, pay money to look at me! I'm worthy of your money!!!", and then get mad when people do in fact keep on looking. I can't help but wonder if they're more upset about the fact that they're privacy is being intruded on, or the fact that someone is making a buck at their expense. I'm sure it's annoying (if not exhausting) to be in the public eye every moment of every day, but that's the price they pay. Not that I spend much time looking - I could care less where they're having their baby... Random thought of the day... This just hit me. Is there anything nastier than sitting on an already warm toilet seat? I mean, sure, nobody likes it freezing cold, but if it's warm....that's sharing someone else's butt warmth. You're absorbing something that use to be in someone else's ass into your own. I want no part of that - no sirreeee. Imagine an unhygenic person in your head. Now imagine them naked. NOW imagine the last part of them you'd like to touch , and now you're sitting there, absorbing heat from that part. Ya - ew. Especially if it's a PUBLIC bathroom (Yeah - because you needed THAT particular detail rolling around in your head...) The warmth of a complete stranger is unacceptable. So there - take that along with you for the rest of the day. Your welcome. In case any of you are wondering (and I know you are)- the weather here is just awful. The clouds need to stop dinking around and either rain or move off. It's been that hazy, misty, crappy cold moisture that seems to get down the back of your shirt no matter direction you're standing. Besides that, my windshield wipers broke and I'm sick of stopping every four blocks to get out of the car and manually move the wipers myself. I hate it. It's depressing. Pray for sunlight. I'm out. J April 26 ChihuahuasI asked a friend what I should write about . She suggested her dog. She has a Chihuahua.
Now let me say first off that I LOVE dogs. My family had a few different ones over the years, and I've held each in high esteem- even Jackie, the mean little Beagle who did nothing but bark, growl, and chase my horrified friends out of the yard. To this day, if I see a puppy I get down on all fours and start playing with it. Dogs and I get along very well together.
But then there's the Chihuahua. Seriously, I want to see papers (the scientific kind) that that thing really is a dog. And it's not like I have something against small dogs...read back to the part about puppies. Chihuahua's just look so unnatural - like God started to create them, got busy making something else, and forgot to come back, accidentally sending it out into the world with a fresh batch of other animals. I know the reality is that somewhere - probably Mexico - the dog was "created" from a mix of other dogs and is actually a marvel of modern breeding techniques. If that's true - I want to see the hodge-podge of creatures used to create that little ball of fur, eyes, and shivering. It looks rather pathetic.
I think the part that just kills me is trying to imagine Chihuahuas surviving out in the wild. What would they eat? Would they herd? What would their "natural habitat" be? Can a pack of Chihuahuas take any other animal down? They would probably have to be set on an island with other useless animals like hamsters (don't get me started on them), gerbils, and canaries. We'll call it "Annoying Island" and reward Zoo bred Tigers who have been well behaved with roaming around for an hour, to enforce population control.
Please, oh please, explain to me why these animals are so lovable. And no, they are not cute. Comment away.
Jason April 19 Sweet SixteenMy Super Sweet Sixteen. I just watched the show on MTV and feel kind of numb. I don't know if I should be disgusted, embarrassed, or full of pity. The disgusted is obvious enough - I mean, these girls seem so spoiled, so far from reality, so out of touch from what life is like for normal people...and yet don't seem to have a clue. When I think of these kids, only one word comes to mind: Pathetic. I don't know how that makes me feel either. I think that when everyone watches the show they feel the same two things I do. On one level, we envy them. I mean, who wouldn't? They have almost no worries, they get what they want, they all seem rather popular, and at the end of the expensive (and rather awe inspiring) day, are probably looking forward to the next one.
But still....no. We do not envy them. The entire time I'm watching, I thank God that I've grown past the emotional maturity of a toddler (my god, the tears) and the patience of a small dog hopped up on caffeine. We laugh, but not because it's funny. I think I laugh because I'm uncomfortable watching - like the people on American Idol who can't sing. In the words of an entirely overused analogy - it's like a car accident. You just have to watch. Every time I've seen the show (maybe a few times now) I start daydreaming about the birthday girl working on a farm, or asking "Would you like fries with that", or even better, living MY LIFE. Oh, how the tears would fall. I'm pretty sure the words "Daddy....?" would be mumbled a few times, but everyone would just point and laugh. Or, even better(!), Daddy would come running in to save the day, asking, "But isn't it enough that I just love you???" This is just an idea, but I'm pretty sure the birthday girl would fall over and die.
But don't get me started on the parents....
Okay - enough. I'm out. |
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